Alucard vs. Edward Rap Battle

• Edward:
• Oh, hi there, Grandpa, can you hear me alright?
• I just want to make sure you understand all my rhymes.
• You’re so old, I’m afraid you’ll fall apart,
• Not to mention that your hairstyle looks like modern art!
• Dude, who dresses like that anyway?
• What are you, from some kind of Anime?
• Besides, I sparkle in the sunlight, bro,
• While you can’t even freaking survive it, so…
• Alucard:
• You little shit! I can survive sunlight!
• If you’re going to try fighting, at least get your facts right.
• I alter and modify anything I please,
• When I’m done with you, you’ll be but a crease.
• I’ll survive almost everything, forever and always,
• You can’t even handle not feeding for days.
• I was the first fucking Vampire, Father of many,
• You’re just another Justin Bieber kind of fanny!
• Edward:
• Justin Bieber? You’re the one looking like a girl here,
• Girlycard? Really? Oh, I’m shaking with fear!
• Your hair is greasy and you smell kind of weird.
• The only manly thing about you is your Vlad Tepesz beard!
• You don’t even have a girlfriend, are you trying to hide something?
• In my opinion, you’re pretty flamboyant for a no-life-king.
• Major league, buddy, I run as fast as I rhyme,
• Go home, you brit, and have a jolly good tea time!
• Alucard:
• Your race- and sexism doesn’t offend me, you wanksplash,
• Maybe I’ll be manly enough for you when I kick your ass!
• I regenerate, I control mind and matter,
• I’m a living nightmare, and as mad as a fucking hatter!
• Maybe I haven’t made myself clear enough, you ponce,
• I’m motherfucking Dracula; you don’t stand a bloody chance!
• I’ve defied death! I’ll annihilate you, deer-sucker,
• You better run, because I’m a lead farmer, motherfucker!
• [Shooting, screaming] Now you look tasty, like a patty, son.